Appetizers
-
Deep Fried Water, Served On A Bed Of Fresh Potato Peels
Dill Pickle On A Stick, Dipped In Caramel
Chocolate Covered Ice Cubes, Three, Served On A Bed Of Cookie Crumbs
Toad Broth, With Tender Toll-House Dumplings
Soup Of Raw Whole Peas In Milk, Served Lukewarm, With Garlic-Ketchup
Croutons
Main
Courses -
Squid Hash
Fish And Chimps
Burger Patty, Steamed, Topped With Marmalade And Served On A Graham Cracker
Rat Ratatouie, Made With Ingredients From Our Own
Sources!
Colorful Aged Beef, Boiled To Order (Our House Namesake And Specialty)
Whole Fried Chicken, Standing In Spinach Sauce (Difficult To Prepare, But We Do It!)
Julienned Vegetarian Moose Antlers, Steamed And Served On A Bed Of Wood
Chips
Bacon, Cabbage, And Potato Sandwiches, Two, Served Drowned With Maple
Syrup
Oatmeal And Onion Sub Topped With Aged Limburger Cheese, Heated To
Perfection!
("Sub" = Submarine - Hoagie - Hero - Grinder - Po Boy -
Torpedo...)
Side
Dishes -
Boiled French Fries, Served On A Bed Of Small Paper Napkins
Creamy Mashed Potatoes, Served In A Basket
Your Choice Of Flied Rice Or Fried Lice, Also Served In A Basket
Creamed Corn, Mashed Carrot, And Canned Pea Medley, Served In A Big Waffle
Cone
Kidney Beans, Two Dozen, Served Fresh And Crisp On A Plate
Swizzle-Stick Salad, With A Choice Of Creamed Hot Pepper Or Shaved-Ice
Dressings
Sliced Turnip Salad With Piquant Hobgoblin Pieces And A Creamy Ectoplasm
Dressing
Bread
-
Served With Some Of Our Meals, Carefully Aged For Peak Of Color And
Texture
Deserts
-
Anchovy Right Side Up Cake, Served With A Refreshing Cod Liver Oil Sauce
Twinkie And Jell-O Compote, Boiled To Your Specification
Apple Brown Baddy, Baked Until Extremely Hard And Crunchy
Cigarette-Flavored Ice Cream, With Bubble Gum Topping (Dill Slices
Optional)
Eggplant Shortbread, Served Topped With Whipped Lard And A Maraschino
Raisin
Beverages
-
Two Percent Chocolate Milk, With Your Choice Of Small Or Large Curds
Breaded Iced Tea, Served With An Onion Slice
Kiwi Coke, Boiled For Your Safety And Served Piping Hot
Kool-Aid Ice Cubes, Left In A Bowl On Your Table Until Drinkable
Delicious Chlorinated Tap Water, Served At Room Temperature
Bon
Appetite!
Dining
Reservations
Are Suggested
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